Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize