so explain again why im purple
no
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
