ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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