i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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