3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
