dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
