I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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