Screwed.edu
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
