I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
