First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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