another moral hangover. fuck.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
you never un-have a 4some
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
