I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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