Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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