So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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