Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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