you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
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I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
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My legs feel like baby dolphins
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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