dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
