Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
