My nipple is on Facebook.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
