Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
