i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Never joke about your clitoris.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
