I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize