You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
