what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
