am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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