he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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