Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
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how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize