I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
