D3 body, D1 cock
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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