If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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