walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
