I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Randomize
