It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
