Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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