Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
