Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
okay pat passed out under dana's car
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
