i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
