A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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