Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
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