So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
