So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
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