He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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