Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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