Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
