nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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