: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
