Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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