apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
