forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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