I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
