i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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