I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
