Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
