: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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