They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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