Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
